Frozen Memories..

Frozen Memories..
 
Talks About Stories.. Stories From Our Parts,Frozen In Our Hearts... Memories We Want to Unzip,Relive.. Dreams Fulfilled, Unfulfilled.
I Look Back, A Little Girl.. My Hair Flowing, My Mother Combing,And The Examss Next Week..
My First Love.. Those Goofy Grins.. Talking Late Nights.. And then My Father Knowing..
I Look Back And Smile..
The Winter Sun.. The Spring Flowers.. Those Summer Games.. My Grandmother, And The Silhoutte Overlooking Me Even When I Was Alone.
An Expansive Sea.. And a Progressing BBoat, Disappearing In Waves.. And The Orange Sun Disc, Drowning In Glory.
A Missing Octave.. A Lost Symphony.. Playing a Forgotten Caracass
I Walk The Beach, And Look Back
The Footprints I Made On The Sands Of Time 
 
Bring It Back, 'O Thou..
With This, I'll Bring It Back


As I walked through a frozen snow patch where small kids were being taught how to ski, I remembered the days when my aunt got me to the very patch every winter morning and taught me how to ski. As the cold wind blew in my face, I could feel my aunt standing there with me holding my hand.
            “Look at me sweetheart. Do you trust me?” she asked me lovingly.
            “I do Aunt Anna but if you let go, I’m going to fall down in the snow and then I’m going to be cold.” I said frowning a bit. I was eight then and was very attached to my aunt. She picked me up from school each day and then I stayed with her all day as my mom and dad both had full time jobs at the NYPD.
            “Emma, look at me and tell me. Do you trust me?” Aunt Anna said to me while still holding my hand.
            I looked up at her and something about her big green eyes made me want to do whatever she asked me to.
            “Yes Aunt Anna, I trust you.” I said to her.
            “Ok, I’m going to let go of your hand slowly and I want you to believe in yourself because even the simplest task in your life can become impossible for you unless you believe in yourself.” she said to me gently.
            As she let go of my hand and I began to move, I thought about her words. They stirred me from deep within and I began to move faster gaining confidence with every inch that I moved. That was twenty-two years earlier. And now at the age of thirty, I have won many awards for ice skiing and other such activities. Whenever I am at a crucial moment in any performance and get nervous, I think about my Aunt’s words and they always help me gain confidence and to perform well.
             I looked around me and saw the festivities and joys of Christmas all around me. My Christmas routine had remained the same since the past 14 years of my life. That day belonged to my Aunt. As I made my way towards her house, I heard the tinkling of the bell of an ice cream truck.
            “Aunt Anna, can I please get just one more ice cream?” I asked her as she started to walk away from the truck which I loved.
 
“No dear, you mustn’t.” she explained to me in her sweet and caring voice. “Always keep one thing in mind; too much of a good thing is never good.”
            I never understood the depth of those words back then. But now I fully understood the truth in that statement. I continued to walk and I reached a small park where we often came when I was a kid.
            It was right there that I had spent some of the best moments of my childhood. The memory of every moment spent with her was fresh in my mind. As if carved on a special portion of my heart that could never be suppressed or erased. I closed my eyes and I could see her gently pushing my swing while I squealed with delight and encouraging me to stand up and try again whenever I fell off while trying to learn to ride my bicycle.
            It began to snow and I was forced to get back to reality and start walking again. I saw people shoveling snow and saw how everyone dreaded it and mostly hired professionals to do it. But Aunt Anna was different. She made a tedious task like snow shoveling seem fun to even a kid. From her I had learnt how self help was the best help. She never needed anyone to clean her house or even to help her take care of me. She managed everything by herself with grace and without any complaints.
            I was making a new origami that she had taught me. She always taught me something new- whether it was a new drawing, an athletic technique or some other skill. And she made everything sound interesting and fun to do and I was always eager to learn more from her. While I made the origami, she went about on her usual household chores. It was a peaceful day. The simple memory flashed through my mind while I walked.
            As I got closer to her house I remembered spending Christmas with her. She did not have much but loved to share whatever little she had with the unfortunate. She had taken me to an orphanage on Christmas and that day I realized how giving could be almost as satisfying as receiving.
            I passed a small hut and I knew I was close to her house. My heartbeat quickened as it often did when I was this close to her. I picked up some speed, eager to reach as quickly as I could.
 
   I passed her self-made flower patch, now withered and ugly. I passed the shed where she had taught me a bit of martial arts. I passed the tree under which we would sit and knit little woolen clothes all through winter evenings. I passed the remains of her once beautiful vegetable garden. As I turned the corner, I could see her cottage. The cottage that had once been my second home. Where I had spent almost my entire childhood and learnt more than I could ever have been taught at school.
            I crossed the remains of her once beautifully kept garden, now buried in snow. I looked at the flowers in my hand. Lilies- her favorite.
            I reached the door of her cottage. I paused there for a while, listening to the sounds of the birds in the distance. Then I turned my back on the door, so lifeless now, with moss all over it. I walked through the front porch into the backyard.
            There she was. I walked slowly, each step measured and soft so as to not disturb the serenity of the beautiful place.
            As I bent down and laid down the flowers on her grave, a million memories flashed through my mind and I stayed there looking down at her grave for a while. And as I stood up to walk away, I felt a tear run down my cold cheek.
 


~~ Sarthak Batra ~~
11th May 2010

Letter From An Aborted Baby

Hey Mamma.

I’m your baby. You don’t know me yet, I’m only a few

weeks old. You’re going to find out about me soon, though, I promise.

Let me tell you some things about me. My name is ARUSH, and I’ve got

beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don’t have it yet, but I

will when I’m born. I’m going to be your only child, and you’ll call me

your one and only. I’m going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we

have each other. We’ll help each other, and love each other. I want to

be a doctor when I grow up.

You found out about me today, Mamma! You were so excited, you couldn’t

wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was

perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mamma. It will be the first face I

will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I

know it already.

Today was the day you told paa about me. You were so excited to tell him about

me! …He wasn’t happy, Mamma. He got angry a bit. I don’t think that

you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called

future, and money, and bills, and stuff I don’t think I understand

yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did

something scary, Mamma. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and

your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay… but I was very sad         

for you. You were crying then, Mamma. That’s a sound I don’t like. It

doesn’t make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after,

and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mamma, but I’m not sure if I

do. It wasn’t right. You say he loves you… why would he hurt you?   

 I don’t like it, Mamma.

Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and

you’re so proud of me! You went out with your mamma to buy new clothes,

and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most

beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I’m

happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait

and see, Mamma. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will

make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.

I can move my hands and feet now, Mamma. I do it because you put your

hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love

you, Mamma.

Paa came to see you today, Mamma. I got really scared. He was acting

funny and he wasn’t talking right. He said he didn’t want you. I don’t

know why, but that’s what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry,

Mamma. When I grow up I promise I won’t let you get hurt! I promise to

protect you. Paa is bad. I don’t care if you think that he is a good

person, I think he’s bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn’t want

us. He doesn’t like me. Why doesn’t he like me, Mamma..?

 

You didn’t talk to me tonight, Mamma. Is everything okay?                                         
 It’s been three days since you saw Paa. You haven’t talked to me or

touched me or anything since that. Don’t you still love me, Mamma?

I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when

you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug

me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don’t you do

that when you’re awake, any more?

I’m 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren’t you proud of me? We’re going

somewhere today, and it’s somewhere new. I’m excited. It looks like a

hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mamma. Did I tell

you that? I hope you’re as excited as I am. I can’t wait.

…Mamma, I’m getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don’t

know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think

something’s going to happen soon. I’m really, really, really scared,

Mamma. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love

you!

Mamma, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It

feels bad! Please, Mamma, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don’t worry Mamma, I’m safe. I’m in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it’s called an abortion

Why, Mamma? Why did you do it? Don’t you love me any more? Why did you

get rid of me? I’m really, really, really sorry if I did something

wrong, Mamma. I love you, Mamma! I love you with all of my heart. Why

don’t you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I wanted

to live, Mamma! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care

about me, and not talk to me. Didn’t I love you enough? Please say

you’ll keep me, Mamma! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and

see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don’t want to be here, I

want you to love me again! I’m really really really sorry if I did

something wrong. I love you!

I love you, Mamma. ♥

And will always love you.

Your Aborted Baby.

By Sarthak Batra..
This Letter Is Written In Narrative Of An Unborn child, Still In His Mother's Womb.. Lets Call Him Arush !
His Mother Is Very Excited About Him, But His Father Is Not.. And Wants His Wife To Abort The Baby, This Is What The Baby Feels
Here I Bring To you My Piece Of Writing, The First In Line For Many More Poems And Articles And Videos Yet To Come..

Sarthak Batra(C) 2011
"Woods Are Lovely, Dark And Deep,
 But Miles To go Before I Sleep"

Strumming To The Music Of My Life .. 

Did I Introduce You To Myself?
Lemme Do That Quickly..
Hi.. I'm Sarthak..
An Engineering Student ( Yes, Engineering.. That Word Dominates My Life Now )
Schools Were Fun. I , With My Best Friends-Akash Dhawan And Salil Bahl, Totally Turned The School Over.. And We Used To Do It Daily.. TWICE!!
No One Dared To Mess With Akash..Abe Unhe Marna Hai Kya? He Had The Guts To Say Anything He Wanted In Front Of Anyone And The Logic To Prove It Right.. You Dont Mess With 'The Akash' Was The General Perception..
Salil Was Our Hulk, The Less Said The Better :-P He'd Always Fall In Love With The Wrong Girl.. Like ALWAYS.. And He'd Fall In Love Twice Ever 6 Months (On an Average) .. And Me? Well, I'm A Poet ( I'll Blog My Poems Someday ) , A Writer , A Singer, Lyricist, Guitarist.. ( Yeah, All That In One !! I Used To Be A Rockstar In School.. But Engineering Has Sucked Life Outta Me *SAD* ) ..

And Oh, Did I Tell You That I'm A Computer-Geek-Turned-Hacker Too  :-P

And I Happen To Have An Online Radio Station Too, WhereIn I Take Your Requests, Play Songs, Dedications , And Interview And Promote Local Musical Talent ( So If You Can Do Anything 'Weird' .. Contact Me ..
Wel, I'll Leave Bragging About Me For Some Other Day .. :-P.. Follow My Life Here To Know More About Me
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Have A Great Day.. Cheers !!
Sarthak

Dil... Nasha.. Pyar..
Enough To Sum Your Life Up? Yes... Or Probably Not..
How Many Times Have You Guys Spent The Night Out, Wasted !
That And Lots Of Other Things .. This Blog Is Gonna Be All About That.. keep Following for More !!

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